savior

“baby, if i say i’d kill and die for you, don’t overwhelm,
it’s not too much, it’s probably not enough, for me,
to show it, not enough words and touches, even the
rougher ones can’t tell it like someone could sing it,
like someone could predict it, so i had dreams about this,
about you and me running, random european city of illusion,
a forehead kiss goodbye before anything even started.
don’t compare it, i know what you give and how it
leaves me still wanting, games of advantage, my empty bets,
blindsided to yellow as you tried to be red the whole time,
still they said, ‘make this man your god’ and i listened,
i’ve been looking to worship my whole life, to stumble
onto rescue, and there are the nights when you look like
it’s impossible, what you’ve taken while it’s still beating,
what i cut out myself, what i forgave and scarred too,
what i risked for something more broken”, but then he said –

he said, “i want to be worthy of mention when
the day is done, i want to give my mind and body
but these are attached, i can only share myself.
if you can resound yourself, save what you
deemed broken and stamped unproud, i’ll share
everything, but until then, i will never see you
share yourself, you will only let go to a point of
hell’s no return, you will kill and die but never live,
living is all i can do, do you want me now?”

she argues, “everything ends eventually, this is a
truth of the ages, living only exists in memory,
seconds or years, it’s only time spanning, spend
the rest with me, what’s it matter to give my heart?
mine to break, heal, cut, and bleed out as i want,
i think it’s safer when it’s not in my hands,
the worst you could do is bruise, is leave it
lying muddy in crowded mountain park,
stop pretending your hold is so bad, so cursed,
if you want me to save me, you just gotta give back.”

he replied in whispers, “you could die tomorrow but
i would have to say you were never even here. time
is all your heart will have, to love is beautiful, to love
yourself is another kind of power, you still burn running
through a fire, baby, if the question’s my heart, you
already bought it with the first bet, when you replaced
forgiven with forgotten, i thought somebody could
finally hear you crying, you only give away something
if it’s no longer working for you, why would your
heart be different?”

“this answer is simple,” she says, “you can hold
more of me than i can, see more, feel more,
if my love can be beautiful, yours can be endless,
it’d take up more space, fill my lungs when
you’re kissing me, and isn’t that just enough,
to always want to kiss that one person each morning,
i wake up and want you to drown me with them,
i wake up and you want me to show my scars,
what’s broken doesn’t matter when you have enough.”

“not a burden or obligation,” he starts, “but a promise,
if i wipe your tears away and you smile
because of my doing, i’ll give more than enough,
i’ll turn the whole thing around, be a vigilante
even if i’d rather be a hero, your knight from
yourself to yourself, i’ll be the one in the middle
of this war you’re living, and you can repay me
by showing me, i’ll keep kissing you for eternity,
i’ll keep learning from mistakes if that takes eternity
and puts it back in your hands, when you’re ready to hold it.”

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