temptation

baby, just give me a break for a day,
you make me work so hard for it,
and i have no one else to talk to,
because when i think the words
out loud, it just sounds like
another fool who’s falling
with their eyes closed,
some kind of stumbler who
keeps knocking things over
and people fucking hate them,
but today, lightning bolts, so
picture perfect as you said,
illuminated your car ride home and
you called me gorgeous again,
so i brushed it off again.

see, i’m trying so hard to
not feel anything, to keep my
high values, every single one
that you meet, the one that stops
it all, puts it in tragedy, because
you already have someone
to do those things with,
a liar, a liar, you’ve got to be,
because what game are
you playing?

i have to go home just
to react after playing it cool,
and watch you
walk away on nights
just like this one,
i have to sit close
beside you in my car,
you and those dreads, those
tattoos covering you everywhere,
i’m going insane and crazy
wanting more nights just like this,
and i’d be tempted to do
anything for you, to
have you for real,
on nights just like
this one.

but today, my head knew something
my heart didn’t want to listen to,
as usual, so typical, the stubborn one,
and that was if the clouds could burst
tonight, touch down those strikes everywhere,
a rain so venomous, a wind destructive,
but oh so very eloquent to what the
electricity between us has always been
from the start, so this, baby,
this can burst just like that too,
and somewhere in some timely future,
there’s a choice that’s gonna hurt
someone or everyone in the mix,
but i would put my little money on not
being chosen so it’s okay, i’ll let it go,
because who am i to invade on it,
to want you back so badly? fuck, i know
because i come home and shiver at night
alone 
without you, left alone
with memories of a day with you.

please, babe, you say you like my face
when it scrunches up like that,
but would you like it when it’s
all this and all your heart making
me want to cry as much as i want
to kiss you just once, but i can’t and
i won’t, i know, but how else do i
kill it? i can’t say it, i can’t stop you
if all that matters is my control in this,
but truth is, i have no fucking clue
what to do, and i guess i never will
until you finally tell me, but i’m
here trying to beg you to stop
this sweet, sweet, nothing but torture.

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