light

and my phone tells me it’s 13 degrees
hotter outside than the day before,
it’s moving up to spring from the winter,
but you have me shivering, freezing,
still thinking last night in your arms
was warmer than i’d ever been before,
i don’t know how it’s possible,
i don’t know how you make me laugh
all the damn time, i’m flooded with a joy,
it’s precious, and i’m trying to be gentle,
i’m trying to let weights go and float on my own,
but i still felt so cold today without you,
even my body was wondering where you were,
and i could still smell you, all over me and my coat,
driving home the whole way with a smile and silence,
and i know i’ve been feeling a whole lot of love songs,
i’m always singing a painful tune or the cheesy ones,
but there’s still nothing that could describe this to me,
it’s how you fit with me, our bodies, it’s how our heads
want to match up, it’s how we talk and laugh like breathing,
it seems so impossible to find something so wonderful
and i won’t leave, my brain is insane with want and touch,
and that other feeling i haven’t found a name for,
i don’t have to, the cold, the silence, the way
i suddenly think about nothing but you all the time,
it had me thinking you’re the only warmth i’ve touched,
i won’t tell you i won’t be too bare-hearted,
but you’re the only one who’s ever really touched me
with something peaceful, never taken without giving back,
i feel like the wind is knocked out of me sometimes,
i get these waves of emotion that have me too happy,
it’s terrifying all at once, i want it all so much at once,
we should dance someday, play a chess game,
talk some more about space and theories,
i can have my disorganized facts and you can have your
spider knowledge, we could split up a bottle of wine
and show each other’s crazies, make love on a bed one day,
i believe in it, i’m even more patient than you think,
and it’s nice when our lips touch, and then when i’m alone,
sometimes it’s like a battle all over again,
i want to tell my head i know nothing about love at all,
even if that’s true, you keep telling me all about it
in a way i didn’t know until i met you, and good god,
i don’t know what led me to you but
you have me burning a pyre of my sadness,
i’m good at the intense stuff, the rawness,
but in this, in us, peace of mind i’ve been led to,
something pure and worthy to share,
sometimes it’s like,
nothing’s a battle at all,
you can keep giving me tenderness,
you can wash me ashore and back again,
i’m muffled and low but i couldn’t stop.

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