time is an instinct

are we animals at night,
and lovers in the day?
do we bite because we’re starving
or because we know we belong to hunger?
would we hide by the treeline to protect ourselves
or are we just too proud to share?

this is not a hurricane or something
that needs a fast remedy, it’s
not an ache i understand but
it’s not always a pain to desire,
to dare and to fight, and to live.

and here i want to live with you,
i could let all my years float by,
i could dream about you over a thousand
times, i could sink into a mudbath
of hope for the future just so long
as you’re there with me, and give
me all those kisses, my lips tremble
every time, and i’m waiting for
some dam to break, i’ve wanted
to howl ‘i love you’ a few times
already, in the worst moments,
or when the stars dared to shine
that bright or how i smell you and get
that peace for a moment, there’s a reason
you know what i long for, and if
i’m the wolf like i pretend, i know you’re the
spider all along, we fit like so many
mystical things and meanings, i can feel
you without words, your emotions,
your eyes closing against mine,
there’s almost nothing that needs to be said.

i want your bed, your heart and
your babies. your fire, your calm,
your sweet words still run me crazy,
your imagination, your little obsessions
and quick movements, your kindness
that i witness, your adventure and
perspective, your dreads when they
tickle my neck, i want your
tongue by my ear, myself in
your lap, and your touch, baby,
and we haven’t seen the best yet,
but we move like we’ve known each other,
ever since the first time and
there is no one that compares for me,
no one else i could claim to truly love
with my deep fire, here i am,
still sinking as i try not to profess this.

i want your love and to grow old
with you, and i’m not too proud
to say i’m an animal who knows
when she’s met her mate, it’s lightning
out of nowhere, calm’s free heart calling,
where we came from or who we were
or where i’ve been means nothing,
where i go with you, where we
run for the hills under a full moon
or make it across the river,
the seed needs the water
and we mean everything.

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